Wednesday, February 25, 2009

For Men Only and For Women Only by the Feldhahns (review)

For Couples Only -- set of two books by Shaunti & Jeff Feldhahn
Multnomah Publishing
Shaunti's website

I'm going to skip posting the cover images of these books for the 3rd time, but if you want to admire the covers and/or read a chapter excerpt from For Men Only or For Women Only, zip down to the post, below.

Shaunti Feldhahn's book For Women Only describes the results of Feldhahn's research on men, how they think and what they want most. I read For Women Only first (I received both books as a set), since I'm a female and men are so baffling. You know, like the way they watch football or tap on their blackberries while you're trying to converse with them and then call you crazy when you say they're not paying attention? Well, Shaunti goes into such things as why they seem to ignore you but say (and think) they're paying attention, what they really want most (to be desired and respected), and why every time they look at you they're thinking, "Sex. Sex, sex, sex, sex." All explained.

If you don't "get" men and you want to understand where they're coming from, grab a copy of For Women Only. I thought it was really eye-opening and my husband and I have had some really fascinating, fun discussions about the material.

After I read For Women Only, I decided I'd better read For Men Only to see what Shaunti and her husband, Jeff, had to say about women. Also, I figured it would take weeks to get my husband to crack the cover. While I often fall into the classification of women who aren't too picky about this and that (I don't need anyone to tell me I'm beautiful or treat me like a princess, for example -- although, of course, everyone in this household knows I was a princess in a former life), I did find a lot of what the Feldhahns had to say was bang on the nose and nicely reminds men that women are not crazy, we're just emotional creatures who need to feel loved.

Both books are short and sweet -- just long enough to give you the information and explain it without becoming repetitive. I highly, highly recommend the set of books, For Couples Only, to anyone and everyone who wants to know what the heck the opposite sex is thinking. They're especially wonderful when read and discussed together, although I have to admit I was right. My husband is probably on page 5 of For Men Only, yet we've talked about both books.

This set is published by a Christian publishing house, but the emphasis is really on the research and results, what men or women who were interviewed by the couple had to say, etc. I don't think most people would find them preachy or pushy on the Christianity issue and think they're worthwhile for every couple to read.


  1. Anonymous6:23 AM

    Books like this are fun. The one couple we hang with the most can 'explain' the MenAreFromMarsWomenAreFromVenus books and it's hilarious. I was impressed that the guy DID read and use some of the suggestions.

  2. I have another set of books like that on my shelf. I think it's brilliant idea to show it from both sides of the coin!

    L. Diane Wolfe

  3. Care,

    That's impressive, all right. I'll bet that friend is really fun to hang out with! We used to have a CD of the Mars & Venus guy with examples and exercises. It was a hoot.


    I really loved the way they wrote the two books and then paired them as a "his" and "hers" set. From my personal experience, you don't even need the spouse to read, as long as he's willing to discuss. Of course, we both know with guys that may involve tying them to a chair and making them focus on a big red X sign pasted to your chest, but whatever works. ;)

  4. I got your comment about swapping for Still Alice, and I would love to. I couldn't find your email address, so I just thought I'd leave a comment here. If you send me an email (akreese (at) hotmail (dot) com) I can let you know what ARCs I have - that is if you haven't already swapped the book with someone else. :)

    My husband has read For Men Only (because he's really cool about reading relationship books when I ask him to).

  5. Alyce,

    Peachy! I've just dashed off an email. I guess I haven't made it easy to contact me via the blog, have I? I'd forgotten about that -- I took my email down a while back.

    Your husband is a gem! My hubby is dyslexic, so he will eventually read what I give him but I can just bank on it taking quite a while. He didn't read for fun when I met him, but we met in college and he was a bit swamped . . . actually he was buried in texts for many years, since I've been with him through all three of his degrees.

  6. My husband read the man's book for his small group at church. He really liked it. But, I don't need to read the woman's; I already know everything about men. (wink)

  7. Bellezza,

    Yay for men's groups! We don't have one. We have the "I Hate Sunday School" group (they even mention the IHSS guys in the bulletin) and the odd pancake breakfast put on by the men for the men. Heh. I should come to you for advice, then? ;)


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